Cool. Sweet. Awesome. Badass. I think we can all agree that those words are tired and need to be put to bed.

So what should you say when your buddy holds a BMX wheelie or you find $10 in your jeans? The answer is both simple and incredible:

Panther!

Allow me to explain the origin of this new adjective. I was at an incredibly rocking wedding last weekend in Puerto Vallarta. While looking at a book of temporary tattoos on the beach, a fellow guest named Bunz noted that panthers are badass. This caused Mike (who was getting a tramp-stamp of a unicorn at the time) to state that “badass panther” is essentially a double negative.

Our collective minds imploded. All panthers are badass. Therefore all things badass are panther. We started using panther as an adjective in sentences and nothing has ever made more sense to me in my entire life:

“Wow that BLT was panther.”

“Those American flag swim trunks are super panther.”

“I was at the most panther foam party last night.”

It was like the Founding Fathers drafting the Constitution, except we were drinking heavily and didn’t have on powdered wigs and pantaloons. We spent the rest of the weekend exchanging high-fives and celebrating this great linguistic revelation.

Now I’m sure many of you are wondering the same thing: “If I say something is panther, won’t I have to explain what panther means?” No. Stop asking dumb questions. If you use the right inflection, there should be no need to explain yourself. The listener’s jaw will immediately drop and they will forever accept panther as the most powerful adjective in the world.

This tectonic shift in our national nomenclature starts right here, right now. I urge you to join my cause and never say awesome, cool, sweet, or badass again. It won’t be easy. I still catch myself leaning on these old crutches. But it needs to happen.

Once you release your first panther roar, there’s no turning back.